You wont realise how much that someone loves you
Created on : 28th July 2010
Creator : Aycndygrl
I have a friend, named Farlin. Who will always be with me whenever i need someone to talk to. Who cares about me deeply. Who will entertained whenever im bored. Who will accompany me when i cant sleep. Who's honesty i respect. Who turns thr frown on my face to a smiley one. Easy to say, he would do anything just to see me smiling and alive. Now, everything was used to be. I almost killed myself for being so stupid.
People were talking bout Farlin and I, about us seeing each other, dating. It irritates me that people actually believe the rumous that Farlin and myself were attached. Yes i do like Farlin, as a friend, not more than that. I wasnt really sure about what i heard from people. They said Farlin loves me and treats me as a girlfriend even if im not. Being afraid and stupid, i decided to drift myself away from him, away from a friend that actually made my day, everyday.
There's this one time that my girls asked out. So i did shop with them, without Farlin around me. Unluck struck me while im on my way home with Sarah and Gale. We met with an accident. The two girls got some broken limbs and bruises, and i, was in a critical condition. So critical that my heart could just stop beating while im on my way to the hospital in ambulance.
I woke up from the tragedy, and really felt guilty about the wrong doing towards Farlin i made. I told the nurse to get my cellphone and called up Farlin for me. She gave me that weird look that i wont even want to ask why, but i had to. I told the nurse that i really need to talk to Farlin. Without any words coming out from her mouth, she hand me a note, and then walk away.
With curiousity, i read the letter, and it says......
"Hey pretty girl, its been a long time i last see you smiling wide. Those were the times. Well i guess you would just wonder why am i writing a letter and not being by your side. I have two things to tell you. First, its about the rumous, the one that they said i loved you? Well believe me, its all true. Forgive me if you felt weird, i know its funny that i really want you in my life. I dont have the guts to tell it to you before, because i know you would never accept it.Now, for the second one, i want you to know this from me and not from others. I do hope that they didnt, because this would be the last request from me. I got to know from Gale. So i rushed down to hospital. Talked to your doctor, and he said that you wouldnt make it, unless if you have a heart replacement as soon as possible. And i think you already guess it. I dont care about you drifting away from me. I only care and appreciate the times we had together. And do you remember, you ever told me you wanted to be a writer? I just want you to live your dreams, to acheive that goal you ever wanted and to see you smile wide as ever. Girl, i think its only till here, i wouldnt want to delay the operation, or you wouldnt get the chance to read this, I LOVE YOU <3"
My eye were flooded by tears. How could i be so blind to see that he is someone great to have as a boyfriend? Im pretty sure that sweet talkers would never sacrifece themself for me. 4 years had passed, i am now a known writer in my Uni campus. I am now here in uni as i didnt gave up easily, because i my heart told me not to, so did Farlin. I still keep the letter he last gave me till now and infinity. Whenever my friends have problems with their partners, all i could say was "You wont know how much that someone loves you...... till their gone." I am now appreciate life and living it better. Like Farlin used to say "It is too late to regret, as you chose it to be that way. Just move on and be a better person." I am now living with Farlin, as a part of life, FOREVER i will. I just wish i could say that i love him too...... <3
0928
25th May 2010
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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ Ironic Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ
This was a few weeks back. I just got the photos from Mai, and i was wake by the vibration of my
cellphone. It is so annoying. I tried to sleep back again, no can do. Damn. So anyway SU and myself had
some incident in this particular bus with this freaking asshole bitch. But whatever, i had to go to school and
meet with the head section of my course. Pathetic. Small matter, twist and turn story and complaint. What the
heck. Bullshit, this is over, and now that ive been recognise by my head section. All i could do is to smile as
happy as possible whenever i see him. Haa fake smile? Went to the train station, and it was suspended. We have
no freaking idea how long we have o wait, and we took bus 5 opposite Eastpoint. Dang it. Skip-skip-skip!
Iron man was pretty awesome. I think i'd talk about this but whatever. And ohh! Mother's day was awesome
too, despite my swallen eye. Sigh! Now i am all awake trying to have a power nap before im all set to go to
school.
And to those freaking sick people out there, stop texting me and stuff. Alright? Stop passing my numbers
around alright? Because of unknown numberes kept asking to be friends, my lecturer for SVE called yesterday
and he got a slight raise voice from me, that aint cool, because i have nt hand in my script (: Okay tomorrow's
Sports Taping Practical and that Sports Admin Marketing Test! ARGH !
1701
24th May 2010
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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ FUENTES Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ
He said
"I miss my Babylove, Candygirl right now. I'll be back soon Candy"
Awwww~ Aint he cute!
I cant wait to meet him tonight!
*Dreamland*
1452
22nd May 2010
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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ Perfected Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ
Ahahahh! Okay-okay, as you can see it cleary by yourself. Yes i am still having this "Own World"
habit. Mike Fuentes is my PERFECT BOYFRIEND in dream world. Dang he's hot! Look at him look!
With his little less tattooes colouring his cuteness. Piercings that made him look even hotter. Ohh god! He
is so adorable! By looking at these photo, me and mike. Aint we fit to be together? LOL! Like i said, i am
still in my Own Dream World. So please, dont make any comments about it, support me please! All over
him and annoyed by my speakers, it wont work! >:(
And ohh, even my little brother said we were meant to be together!
As the picture shows it cleary~ We look a like (:
20th May 2010 ; 1249
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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ As a matter in fact Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ
I had watched the trailer for Nightmare on elm's street 2010.
It was pretty scary that i suddenly recall back what happened
in the scene when i wanted to shut my eyes close to take a nap.
Damn it, and last night was a hell of scary night. I felt pokings
right under my bed and through me, and then i felt the pokings
from my pillow. Who in the world would try to do that?! Its
impossible! And seriously i just shocked myself. I typed this out
and heard a whistle sound. Thank god its only my little cousin.
So i woke up around 0700. Get myself a long shower and
ended up me infront of the computer screen, surfing the net
and playing Nightclub City. School's suppose to start at 0900.
But Arini and I met up at 0945, awesome? NO! Because right
after we reached school, we went straight to the Cafeteria and
bought Chicken chop burger and drinks. Right after the meal,
guess what happen? WE WENT HOME! You see my point now?
Wake up as early as it can be, went to school but didnt not even
attend a single class. Sigh! So anyway i am very very sleepy right
now, which i suppose should take a nap, but im still here infront of
this screen playing Nightclub City and still thinking of what to dress
later on to Nabiin's, Sheeshaa's on Su Princess!
And this is what my club looks like.
I know i know its very very small. But what the heck!
The jerks in purple are making my club's popularity down
DAMN IT!
And i guess im going to take a short nap now. Before its too
late for me to get some rest! People will eventually calling me up
and stuff :/
20th May 2010 ; 0808
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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ Plan It Well Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ
Its a blast to watch this movie!
Pretty awesome for miracles that would eventually happen.
I love this movie~
NEXT! ; NIGHTMARE ON ELMS STREET!
1457
19TH May 2010
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BUT KARMA (:
10th May 2010
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Since my computer back home is currently affectted by some freaking virus,
i am now at Ainul's place using her lappy while shes at the couch trying to get some
power nap. So last friday, climbmates and myself head to town to catch ironman 2, like
always they wernt on time. And we got the first row at 2110, yes wow~ At first i was freaking mad
as the time is consuming, i mean, we spent sitting along the sidewalk near to Mac for almost 2 hours?
Dang i felt bored ): But in the end i enjoyed myself, the part that IVan said "i want my BURD" was freaking funny!
Half way through the movie i felt slight pain in my left eye, than i said to myself that i am sure im
gonna get another pain in the eye infection and the thruth had said, i woke up early in the morning with
a freaking huge swallen left eye): And that day, i had to force myself to go the granny's at Sembawang, for
a mother's day celebration, and i dont even feel any regret, i got to eat cakes, delicious indian food
and after that, AWESOME STEAK! that was my biggest meal when i got no mood to munch anything!
Right now, sitting here looking at the screen, and ainul watching Disney channel, i am now
feeling sleepy that im having this feeling that i am lazy to travel all the way to Farrer Park to Climb Asia for
training today, dang, im sleepy, thanks for the cold wintery weather! (: its been a while <3
6th May 2010
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First of all i am sick of people asking me who am i in msn. I mean, hello?
I dont even know you, so do you mind just shut your mouth and not chat with me?
Ive been keeping myself quiet lately. People are aksing and i know when i said im okay,
you guys know that i lie a little~ I just cant take this pain any longer. The family tree
that i known for 18 long years would eventually collapse. I dont want to see any of us
tripping down, braking any heart nor feel the pain. I just want happyness. Yes, no
one is perfect in this world. I ust miss the old times we had gone through. Please,
do it for Nurul Tijani, shes just a little kid ):
I am now playing intensity in ten cities over and over again. I gess im just feeling really down
today, ive wasted 25bucks for nothing, and eventually i spent more than i wanted.
And if someone could forgive a person, why cnt that someone forgive another person?
That someone you forgive whom you talk bout all the time, whom you wann a spike the drink,
whom you disgrace, whom you said stole your cash. But rigth now, i feel that im the stranger between
us, why? Ive notice this from the start, i should just move on, and maybe die? If only i am ready to,
i would, Dear god, why must i be the victim? I just want some answers ):
5th May 2010
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Try zooming in if you wanna read what its about
*Krabi Incident*
5th May 2010
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"I am too afraid to tell you that i miss you"
Photographer : Chew
Taken during Krabi, Thailand Rock Climbing Overseas Trip 2010
*At a bar along the island*
30th April 2010 ; 1003
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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ Phobs Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ
Hahahh! Old photo, and im too lazy to edit the lightings.
So anyway its already 1004, which means, i am not going school.
I was about to go out of the house till Wiwi texted that she is not going too.
I decided not to go as most of them arent attnding classes too. Damn it.
And thanks to Azri, he texted me and phone vibrated, cellphone hits the floor.
Thanks Azri! So outting today is canceled. Tsk! And i just receive a text message from Suhaila
and suddenly the reception is gone, fuck damn it!
So i am now waiting for Suhailah and Zul to end their classes.
Heading to MDIS to collect the bursary as i didnt attend the ceremony
And now im bored
29th April 2010 ; 2125
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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ Candy Candy Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ
Well, its really obvious that if i were a superhero, i would eventually punch
that assholes face and change it into something that people would puke.
Because of that fucking asshole, my life a trashed. Yes i know its not the end.
But hey, i lost a lot of close friends and a brother. How thoughful of that asshole
to convince people that im the one o be blam. If asshole didnt start, i dont think i
will be this way, fuck you, revenge i tell you, asshoel fuck you till death!
27th April 2010 ; 1131
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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ Snorkels Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ
I MISS KRABI
The times i had there is still in mind playing around
i coundnt even really concentrate in class, dang it~
cause over at krabi you can do anything you like
snorkling with friends till someone gets almost drown as the bestest memories
ghost or no ghost, i am sure to go there again
Deep water soloing? yess i shall try to conquer a lil bit of my fear :D
27th April 2010 ; 1127
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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ Facts Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ
Its obvious that you like that someone,
but sometimes, you just know it,
that you and that someone will never end up together
11th April 2010 ; 1212
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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ And They Call It? Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ
I kept on having him running around in my mind
Its like "Shorty 's like a melody in my head" <3
He could be my melody?
And i would love to keep it that way for as long as i could
it other words, forever? (:
10th April 2010 ; 1831
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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ Awesome Shit Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄
And i fucking superbly love my raybans~
Esspecially the one above, i love the colours! ^^
And i like the background in this photo.
Its as if its been planned out, but no (:
10th April 2010 ; 1357
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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ LoveCrush? Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ
HE is very very very very very very cute (:
Be mine? No? Yes? :o10th April 2010 ; 1149
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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ I ♥ Krabi Thailand Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄Ʒ
Cant deny it, hearing the word krabi makes me high!
That 5 nights and 6 days trip to Krabi with climbmates
was superbly awesome! We stayed at this resort called Paasook,
where i met my thai boyfriend, named Dhey ♥ too bad that i
didnt ask him to snap a photo with me): but in the end, he and his two
friends gave me a thai name, Phatun, and i love it! ^^ Dhey and myself
had a real conversation, unlike those wannabe-s girlfriend of his, they
didnt get a chance! ;p He asked where am i having my dinner, what
time will i be back and stuff, awwwww~ ♥
So i couldnt sleep for the first nightthe fan in the room isnt working -.-
Called Dhey to check it out, and the fan did work a while, after
Dhey was gone, its not working again :o Nightmares began to crawl on
us, Su, Nut and myself, i heard door squeeking open over and over again
and a few other strange noise, it was fucking sary i tell you! What more
the room we had was very close to the jungle and guess what?!
There's two banana tree fucking close to our room :o One was near the entrance
at the strairway, where you seriously need to go under it to pass tru to get up
in our room, and i found out that the other one was at the back of our toilet,
and its effin BIG! No wonder the other day, i wanted to pee, urgently, i
couldnt control my blader anymore, and when i was about to pee, the lights turn off!
i ran out from the toilet with my shorts down(: and to be honest i pee-d without closing
the toilet door ^^ i was almost showing nude to Zul, he was standing outside our room
and the door was wide open, luckily that my tee was long enough to cover XD
We went up to Hafiz's (Kumar) and Sharil's room, to pee, and Su, did her BIG business
HAHAHAHAHAAAA!
to be honest there's alot to talk about krabi, but i guess im just annoyed by my left eye
I got eyelid infection :o and its hurting me ): I guess i just update bout it more when im
missing Krabi and my Thai boyfriend, Dhey ♥ and ohh!
photos i shall upload, not done with resizing and i find it hard to upload after 3 to 4 pictures -.-
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̵̨̨̄̄
